Feedback to group on sponsorship letter

I think it is vital that we put key information in the opening sentence - the central attraction to sponsors is the fact that this is Central Saint Martins, and it is the first exhibition in the new space.

Detailed comments are below, for discussion:

- The heading should state Central Saint Martins at the top

- Opening sentence is more eye-catching as something like:

The students of Central Saint Martins' MA in Applied Imagination in the Creative Industries are looking for sponsors to help with the cost of their degree show, the landmark first exhibition in the brand new gallery space in the redeveloped Kings Cross building.

- I would have 'About CSM' immediately following, as this section is the one that will hopefully get the attention of potential sponsors

- First para in 'About MA' should read 'belief' instead of 'believe'

- In the second paragraph, 'exhibit' implies the presentation of singular items, I think 'installation' may work better?

- Second bullet point in 'The Opportunity' should read 'Associate your organisation with one of etc'

- Fourth bullet, 'Make your company branding... via the catalogue...'

- Sponsor's wall etc should be sponsors' wall throughout

- Typo in 'Main Sponsor' section, 'your company'

- In 'Supporter', there is typo in third sentence, 'inthe'